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How to stop being needy in a relationship

Here is an example of being needy in a relationship;

My friend, Amy, called me in tears last week. Yet another boyfriend had broken up with her and she seemed to have no idea why.

“He never returned any of my calls,” she tearfully wailed

“How many times did you call him?” I asked her, already having some idea.

“Eight! And he never called me back once!”

....and she wondered why he hasn't called .

I am sure we all know someone like Amy and the tragic thing is she doesn’t even know she is being needy in a relationship

She has a great fear of being left because it has happened time and time again and each time it happens, it makes her more needy. She is trapped in a vicious cycle and does not know how to get out of it.

Being needy in a relationship isn’t always about needing to talk to someone several times a day. It could mean you need constant reassurance that your partner loves you or that you are attractive. Many people are aware of their neediness but unsure how to handle it.

You could take things to the other extreme, playing hard to get , but the best thing is to strike a happy balance. Desperation is a big turn off, as is acting as if you are not interested and many people get it wrong.

The longer you are with someone, the more trust should naturally build up. You have to respect the other person’s time and their life outside of you.

Try not to ask for reassurance all the time. Questions such as, “do you love me?” and “do you find me attractive?” are unnecessary. If your partner did not love you, or at least like you, they would not be with you in the first place.

If you have just met someone, give them space. Otherwise, you will see the first signs a man want out . You don’t even need to call one another every day although if both of you like a lot of contact, that is fine. You need to be a good judge of character. What seems fine to one person comes across as being needy to another.

The best way to stop being needy in a relationship is to force yourself not to be. OK, so this is easier than it sounds but remember past relationships.

Remember how your neediness scared your previous partner away. Do you want that to happen again? Of course not. Don’t ask for reassurance all the time. Don’t phone all the time.

Try to have a life outside the relationship too – pursue your hobbies and see your friends. If your life is centered around your partner, this can make you needy because if the relationship fails, you will feel like you have lost everything.

Being needy in a relationship is a big mistake and you have to realize there is no reason to feel like that. Enjoy spending time with your partner and realize that they are with you because they want to be.

Nobody is perfect and a relationship needs to be worked at. There is always going to be someone smarter than you or more attractive than you but your partner is with you because it is you that he loves!

Stop acting as though you are insecure. You might still have needy thoughts but push them aside and enjoy your life instead. After a while, this will become your new behavior and your relationship will become better than ever.

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