How to Make This Work
Dating man with child is not the ideal situation for any woman, but if you are attracted to someone who has kids, there often seems like no choice.
Deciding to enter into dating a man with a child will mean learning to be sensitive to both his and his child’s needs.
You will also need to consider whether he wants to have children again or if he is satisfied with the ones he already has. Dating man with kid has that risk of frustration.
Dating man with child is certainly different than dating one who has no attachments. When a man has a child, he will either live with them full time or have part time visitation or custody.
This means he won’t be as available as someone without children and you will need to accept that you always come second to the children.
Children are innocent victims of relationship breakdowns and their parents will usually want to do everything in their power to ensure their needs are met. This could even mean keeping your relationship secret from them until it develops into something more serious.
The age of their child or children will determine the impact it has on your relationship. Very young children or even babies will require their undivided attention but may not be so aware of or sensitive to the situation.
Older children will have a clear knowledge of the separation but are likely to be less accepting of a new partner for their parent for some time.
Another factor that will contribute to the way you embark on dating man with child is how long he has been separated from his partner:
If years have passed already, the children will see it as normal for their parents to date other people. If the wounds are still fresh, time may be required for children to become accustomed to the idea.
An ex-girlfriend, ex-wife or even an ex-lover can sometime make it difficult for you to start dating man with child. Depending on the emotions surrounding the separation, the ex-partner could still be involved in their life.
Inadvertently they will see each other when exchanging visitations with the children, but an ex who wants to rekindle the relationship can be a touchy situation. If you are dating man with child and he decides to return to his ex, don’t be disheartened or take it personally:
When you have children, it is always important to try to keep the family together wherever possible and it’s not uncommon for a man to decide to go back to the battle field and try to work out a truce for the children’s sake.
Another situation that can arise is meeting and dating man with child who is also a widow. This too is a very sensitive situation and it can be difficult for children to ever accept someone new.
Not only will there be issues surrounding living up to the memory of their deceased loved one, but they may also be fearful of giving their hearts to someone else in case they lose them.
If the man you are considering dating has a child or children, the best plan is to take things slow while you assess the situation.
Whether he wants children again, is open to marriage and still has any ties with his ex are things that will be revealed over time. Rushing in could mean you get your feelings hurt.
Communication is always the key. So without putting too much pressure on him, try to find out where he stands on these issues.
Don’t be put off by the fact that he does have children, as many women find loving, life-long partners in those men who have opened their hearts up to the love of a child.